Zankoku na tenshi no youni Like an angel without a sense of mercy...
Shonen yo shinwa ni nare ...rise young boy to the heavens as a legend.
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Aoi kaze ga ima Cold winds, as blue as the sea...
Mune no door wo tataitemo Tear open the door to your heart...
Watashidake wo tada mitsumete But unknowing you seem, just staring at me...
Hohoenderu anata Standing there smiling serenely.
Sotto fureru mono Desperate for something to touch...
Motomeru koto ni muchu de A moment of kindness like that in a dream..
Unmei sae mada shiranai Your innocent eyes as yet have no idea...
Itaikena hitomi ...of the path your destiny will follow.
Dakedo itsuka kizuku deshou But someday you'll become aware of...
Sono senaka niwa ...everything that you've got behind you.
Haruka mirai mezasu tameno Your wings are for seeking out...
Hanega arukoto ...a new future that only you can search for.
Zankoku na tenshi no thesis The cruel angel's thesis bleeds...
Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu ...through a portal like your pulsing blood.
Hotobashiru atsui pathos de If you should betray the chapel of your memories...
Omoide wo uragiru nara ...the cruel angel will enter the window of your soul.
Kono sora wo daite kagayaku. So boy, stand tall and embrace the fire of legend...
Shonen yo shinwa ni nare. Embrace the universe like a blazing star!
2016 A.D.
WHAT MANKIND HAS LOST
THE HUMAN INSTRUMENTALITY PROJECT PROGRESSES
HOWEVER, THERE'S TOO LITTLE TIME TO DESCRIBE THE ENTIRE PROCESS
THEREFORE, WE WILL DISCUSS THE COMPLEMANTATION OF THE MIND
OF ONE SINGLE BOY NAMED SHINJI IKARI
SHINJI IKARI
FEAR
I fear that I will disappear.
But I can disappear, because I believe I'm unworthy of existence.
Why is that?
Because I am worthless.
I am unwanted, a useless child!
You don't care about me anyway, do you?
Using that excuse is no different than running away.
What you truly fear is failure, isn't it?
You fear that you may be hated by others.
You fear acknowledging that weakness, even to yourself.
How can you criticize me when you do the same thing?
You're right. We are all basically the same.
Our minds lack something basic.
We fear that deficiency.
We fear it.
That is why we are attempting to become one.
We will meld with and fill each other.
This is Instrumentality.
Mankind cannot live without being surrounded by others.
Mankind cannot survive alone.
Although you, yourself, are always unique.
That's why life is hard.
That's why life is sad and empty.
That's why you want affection,
the close physical and mental presence of others.
That is why we wish to become one.
The human soul is made of weak and fragile elements.
The body and mind are made of brittle components as well.
That's why,
via Instrumentality, Mankind must fill and complement each other.
WHY?
Must you ask? Because there is no other way to exist.
REALLY?
Why do you exist?
I DO NOT KNOW
Maybe I live to find out why I exist.
For whom do you exist?
For myself, of course.
Maybe for myself.
REALLY?
Are you happy being alive?
I don't know.
Are you happy being alive?
Of course I'm happy!
Are you happy being alive?
I don't want anything except to be happy.
Do you hate being sad?
I don't like it.
Do you hate enduring pain?
I don't like it.
Is that why you run away?
Yes. Do you blame me? Why not run from something that hurts?!
I mustn't run away!
Why mustn't you run away?
Because escaping from the reality can be painful too.
Even though you're running from something more painful?
I can't bear it.
As long as you know what the pain is, it can be endured.
Yes, if the pain is too harsh, you can escape it.
If you really hate it, you can still run.
No, I won't! I'm tired of running away!
Yes! I mustn't run away.
That's because you are aware that running only brings you more pain.
That's because running away can be far worse.
That's why you do not wish to run away.
If I run away, nobody will respect me!
Don't leave me alone!
Don't desert me, I'm begging you!
There he goes again, doing whatever others tell him to.
That's a sad survival mechanism, isn't it?
So what?! It's better than being left all alone!
You fear being hurt.
You try to make yourself believe that, don't you?
You're not the only one who gets hurt, Shinji.
Everybody feels the pain. You aren't the only one.
It's just easier for you to think that's true, isn't it?
Shut up! I don't care!
Why should I? Nobody cares about me!
Once again, you've abandoned all sense of self-worth.
I have nothing.
There you go again, saying that you have no worth at all.
Do you believe that by not expecting anything
you won't get hurt either?
Is that how you sustain your pathetic ego,
by asking others to praise you?
Nobody accepts me.
That's not true. You just believe it to be true.
That's why I must pilot Eva.
That's your point of view. You've been trying to convince yourself
that you're worthless since the beginning.
I have to! I have to do it!
Not true, you don't have to.
No, you just believe that you must.
No, you're wrong! My life is pointless otherwise!
I have nothing else to be proud of.
That's why you pilot an Eva?
Piloting Eva gives me an identity, a purpose.
I had no value before I became a pilot.
The fact that I pilot an Eva justifies my presence here.
I have no other value.
No other value at all.
A REASON TO EXIST
I perceive no value in myself.
THEREFORE...
I hate myself!
You idiot! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
I hate you!
I hate everything about you!
I'm sorry, but I hate you.
I hate you!
I hate everything about you!
I hate you!
See? Everyone hates me.
Every person in existence must hate me.
No, that's just what you imagine.
Yes, that must be it! Because I hate myself!
Because you hate yourself, no one respects you.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate everything!
But they're nice to me.
When I pilot the Eva, they treat me well.
They act as if they like me.
SO YOU'RE HAPPY
Other people were being nice to me!
STILL NOT HAPPY
Which are your true feelings?
I don't know...
Perhaps, both are my true feelings.
So, that's why you pilot Eva?
I have no choice. I only have the Eva.
Otherwise, you could not retain your own identity.
In fact, Eva Unit 01 is a part of yourself, your sense of being.
If you depend only on the Eva,
then the Eva will become your only identifier.
Eva will become your only value.
You, the real you, will be erased from existence.
I don't care! I had no other value to start with anyway!
I was learning to play the cello, but that didn't help me either!
You just didn't discipline yourself.
But now that I can pilot the Eva, I must be able to...
No, you may lose your identity, as I have.
You may lose Eva and your self-worth.
WHY DO YOU PILOT EVA?
I pilot it because it is all I can do.
Finale TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Rain...
Dark shadows of gloom hang above me.
That's how I feel. This isn't how I wish it to be.
The setting sun, the ending of life.
This is not how I wish it to be.
Morning...
The beginning of a day.
The beginning of another terrible day.
This is not how I wish it was.
Blue sky...
Something warm...
Something unfamiliar...
Something that fills me with horror.
I don't want this.
I don't want it to be this way.
Everything! Everything! I hate everything!
What do you wish?
ARE YOU AFRAID OF FEAR?
What do you desire?
DO YOU WISH FOR SERENITY?
What do you want?
LIKE ME!
Don't hate me, please!
What I fear is...
REJECTION
What I want is...
CONTACT AND ACCEPTANCE
Can I stay next to you?
May I stay here?
Do you like me?
YOUR MOTHER...
DO YOU LOVE HER?
Do you want to be with your real mother?
No, I don't.
Do you want to be with your father?
No, I don't.
Why not?
BECAUSE I'M AFRAID
I'm afraid of being hated.
My identity might start to disappear.
THAT'S WHY?
What is it that you wish?
ENDING THE FEAR
What is it that you want?
ENDING THE LONELINESS
You're very insecure, aren't you?
To become secure, I have to have...
Value! I want to be worth something!
I want to be worth enough to attract the attention of others!
I NEED A REASON TO EXIST
That is something you have to find for yourself.
You have to find your own value for yourself.
THAT'S WHY I PILOT EVA
I have no value without it.
My life is worthless without it.
Then, what are you?
Then, what am I?
What am I?!
This is... Me!
This is the Shape that lets others recognize me as myself.
It is my symbol for my Self.
This is... This is...
SHINJI IKARI
A representation. Everything is a description, not my real Self.
Everything's a shape, an identifier to let others recognize me as me.
But then, what am I?
WHERE AM I?
Is this me?
My true Self? My fake Self?
You are you.
There is little difference between how you interpret yourself
and how others interpret you.
Right.
My clothes... My shoes... My room...
These all are parts of what makes up my Self.
These things are connected through your consciousness.
So, what I think is me, is me.
What I recognize as Self is myself.
But I don't understand my Self.
Where am I?
What am I?
THAT'S WHY YOU CLOSE YOUR SOUL
Nobody understands me!
What are you, stupid? Of course nobody understands you!
Nobody can ever understand you.
The only one who can take care of you
and understand you is you, yourself.
So, you must take care of yourself.
But I still don't understand my Self!
I don't even know what it is that makes me myself!
How could I love myself?!
HE IS INSECURE
You are still unstable.
That is, the present you.
And the people around the present you.
And the environment that surrounds the present you.
None of these last forever.
Time continues to flow, and time brings change.
Your world is in a state of constant change.
You are capable of change anytime. Your Mind perceives these changes.
What is this?
A world of nothing?
A world with nobody in it?
This is the world of perfect freedom.
Freedom?
A world of perfect freedom, a world in which you have no restrictions.
Is this really freedom?
Yes, this is what it is.
However, this world has nothing in it.
Unless I do something?
Right, unless you do or think of something.
But...
I don't know what to do or think!
He is uncertain.
He has no image of Self to orient himself.
There's nothing solid here.
It is a world in which there are no obstacles.
THIS IS FREEDOM
This is a world in which you can do anything you wish.
But you're afraid, aren't you?
Don't you know what it is that you want to do?
What should I do?
Let me give you a restriction.
There! Now, you have top and bottom.
But you've lost a degree of your freedom.
Now you must stand on the ground.
But now you feel easier, don't you?
You have less to trouble your mind.
And now, you can walk.
This is happening because you will it to be.
Is this my will?
This world with the floor is the only thing around yourself.
But now, you can move around anywhere you wish to within it.
You could even turn the world upside down, if you wanted to.
And the position of your world is not the same either.
It changes with the passage of time.
You can change yourself as well.
What forms your shape is your mind
and its interaction with the world that surrounds you.
You can do anything here, because this is your world.
This is the shape of your reality.
THIS IS THE REALITY
What is this?
An empty space.
An empty world.
A world where nothing exists but myself.
With only myself, I have nothing to interact with.
It's as if I'm here, but not here at all.
It's as if I'm slowly fading out of existence.
WHY?
Because only you are here.
Only myself?
Without others to interact with,
you cannot truly recognize your own image.
My own image?
MY IMAGE?
Yes. In the act of observing others, you may recognize yourself.
Your image of yourself is restrained
by having to observe the barriers between yourself and others.
And yet, you can not see yourself without the presence of others.
When there are others, I can perceive myself as an individual.
If I am alone, then I will be the same as everything else.
There will be no difference between myself and nothing!
By recognizing the differences between yourself and others,
you establish your identity as yourself.
The very first other person is your mother.
Your mother is a different individual.
Right, I am me and she is she!
But are you really sure that others form my Self?
It's true, Shinji Ikari.
Man, has it taken you this long to realize that simple fact?!
Shinji, you idiot!
It's about time you got up. Shinji, you idiot.
What is it, Asuka?
What the hell does that mean?!
Can't you appreciate the fact
that I went to the trouble of coming to wake you up?
I don't hear any words of gratitude for your oldest childhood friend?!
Thanks...
But let me sleep a little longer.
What are you doing?
It's time for you to get up!
You stupid pervert! I can't believe you've got one of those!
I can't help it! It's morning!
That Shinji! Asuka's so sweet to come pick him up every morning,
and he doesn't appreciate it.
Dear, you have to get ready too.
Gosh, you're just like Shinji.
Are you ready?
Anytime.
I'm the one who gets complaints from Professor Fuyutsuki
if you're late for the meeting.
That's true. He's your biggest fan.
Oh, you! Cut that out and get ready.
I understand, Yui.
Hurry up!
I know! You're such a pain in the ass sometimes, Asuka!
What did you say?!
We're leaving now!
I'm leaving.
See you later, Sweetie!
Come on, Dear! Put the newspaper down!
I understand, Yui.
Hey, isn't there a new student starting today?
That's right!
Since this city's going to become the new capital,
there're a lot of people moving in.
It's no wonder we're getting so many new kids.
Oh, that makes sense. I wonder what she's like?
I hope she's cute!
Oh, I'm late! I'm late!
I can't be late for the first day!
I'm sorry! I'm in a hurry!
I'm really very sorry!
What?!
Did you see her panties?!
Well, it wasn't really a good look.
Just a little flash.
I can't believe that you're the one who has all the luck!
Why'd you do that for, Class Rep?!
Suzuhara, just exactly what were you talking about?!
Go change the water in the flower vase right now! You understand?
You're so mean.
What did you just say?!
Poor Toji's so hen-pecked. It's sad, isn't it?
Look who's talking.
Are you saying that I'm easily manipulated?
I'm merely reporting the facts.
How so?
It just is. Accept it.
Why do you treat me like this?!
The calm, peace and tranquility...
Hey, that hurts, you idiot! The calm, peace and tranquility...
It's Miss Misato, our teacher!
Miss Misato's so gorgeous!
Just look at those three stupid stooges! Have they no shame?
Stand up! Bow!
Sit down!
Listen up, dudes!
We've got a new blue-haired babe here to introduce herself!
My name's Rei Ayanami! Nice to meet you!
You're the jerk who was staring at my panties!
Hey, what do you mean by that?!
You're the one who was flashing them at Shinji!
Who are you and why are you defending him?
Are you guys doing it?
No! We're just really good childhood friends!
You shut up!
Be quiet, you two! We're in a class, not a bar!
Hey, this is more entertaining than class!
I want to see how this turns out.
Please continue!
I see, this is another possibility.
Another possible world.
This current Self is the same way, it's not my true Self.
I can be any way I wish to be.
I see, I can exist without being an Eva pilot as well!
If you consider that, perhaps this world isn't so bad.
Still, even though the reality itself might not be bad,
I could still hate myself.
It's your mind which takes reality and separates it
into what's bad and hateful.
It is only the mind which separates reality from truth.
Your view of reality changes your perception of its nature.
It is all, literally, a matter of perspective.
There are as many truths as there are people.
But there's only one truth that is your truth.
That's the one that's formed
by whatever narrow point of view you choose to view it from.
It's a perception that protects you from the twisted truth.
That's true, and one can have a perspective that is far too small.
But a person can only see things from the perspective they choose.
One must learn to judge all things via the perceived truths
that one receives from others.
For example, sunny days make you feel good.
Rainy days make you feel gloomy.
If you are told this is so, that is what you will believe to be so.
But you can have fun on a rainy day as well.
Your truth can be changed simply by the way you accept it.
That's how fragile the truth for a human is.
A person's truth is so simple that most ignore it
to concentrate on what they think are deeper truths.
You, for example, are simply unused to what it is to be liked.
You've never learned how
to deal with the fear of how others feel about you, so you avoid it.
But don't others hate me?
What are you, stupid? It's all in your imagination!
But I hate myself.
One who truly hates himself cannot love.
He cannot place his trust in another.
I'm a coward.
I'm cowardly, sneaky and weak.
Now that you know yourself, you can take care of yourself.
I hate myself.
But I could love myself.
Maybe my life could have a greater value.
That's right! I am no more or less than myself!
I am me!
I want to be myself!
I want to continue existing in this world!
I am worth living here!
Congratulations!
Thank you all!
THANK YOU, FATHER
FAREWELL, MOTHER
AND TO ALL CHILDREN,
CONGRATULATIONS!